I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

 So apparently i failed my summer class and I'm really confused because I had a C before the final..
I'm freaking out because there is no way I can get into PT school with that grade.
I'm scared i'm going to have to re-figure my entire future.
I feel like its wasted money and I just want  crawl into a hole and die.

I went to the psychic last night and it was AWESOME. I was expecting some vague bullshit but the second she got started with my reading it was one freaky accurate detail rom the next. She knew how long Chris and I had been together. She knew he plays guitar and she knew I sang. She knew My father was abusive and told me to be prepared for him trying to come back into my life. And she said "don't worry, you've seen the worst pain you will ever see in your life. I sense you go through life negatively waiting for the next thing. You'll never reach peace if you continue. You hands have an outcome of peace but you have to leave this negativaty behind."
Mid-way through my reading she said " I see you've abandoned your religion within the last year. Why? I can see that you used to be devought in your prayer and suddenly gave it all up. You should pray more. Doesn't matter to who. Just pray."
Here's some other things she told me:

-1 marriage to the person I'm  with now. She said I was meant to have few boyfriends (I've only had 3) and I was meant to find my love early in life and my love line was the most prominent on my hand. She also mentioned that Chris and I communicate better in notes and messages rather than face to face. Which is true. When we used to get in arguments, we wrote notes to each other to fix them.

-3 kids

-peaceful ending

-beach vacation summer 09

-6 weeks better relationship with chris

-after Easter family tension will subside

-father will try to come back in my life

-Family member who has bad addiction will need your prayer very soon (I know who she's talking about)

-success in job. She mentioned that I'm a passionate spirit I just get bored way too easily (which is true. I'm always looking for something else to do with my life). I'll have to overcome this to succeed.

So I'm all moved and our apartment is super cute!!
It looks like Zeta took a large dump in our apartment though. (yes I know Zeta wouldn't dump; it's not lady-like)

I'm so excited and happy. 

My mom keeps making me feel bad. I went to their house (my old house) to eat dinner and the whole time she kept saying "YOUR place" and "I miss you" and "aren't you sad?" and "thanks for visiting, it was good seeing you"
Stuff to make me feel bad for moving. But I needed to do this. I feel so chill now without my stepdad's rampages and having to do shit for them and not studying. But they all started being nice at the end. (go figure.) But They have my sister now who moved back today (which is another awesome thing that happened this weekend!)

I know it will be fine once we get used to the idea. I'm her youngest girl so I guess it's sad for my mom which I understand. But it's bittersweet. I'm going out on my own to establish my independance. This is what I've wanted and it's hard.I AM sad. But I feel like in order to prepare myself for the next phase of my life, I need to do this. I think it wil be psychologically beneficial, you know?
My mind can't wrap around the fact that I LIVE here. And don't need to call mom to tell her that I'm not calling home and such. It's so weird!! But I'm happy! And that's what counts.

So I've been super busy this week. And it's Spring Break.

I'm moving into my apartment in a week and 3 days and I'm stoooked. My mom and I picked out a bedroom suit that we pick up on Friday. It's so pretty.

I never realized how much shit I have until I began packing it all. I also am a HUGE packrat so I'm having to throw a bunch of shit I don't need away.

I have Zeta Day this weekend and I'msuperexcited to see my zetas down south (Clare and Lauren). But the President Mauro of the entire Sorority is visiting our chapter Sunday and I'm so nervous. I mean what do you do in that situation?

Oh and Chris's parents have decided to buy him a fucking house this summer. So when we decide to move in together, it will be FREE for us. SAWWWEEET. And it's a whole house! And when he wants, he can sell the house and buy a bigger one with tha money.

Chris wants to transfer to LSUS this fall because he hates Centenary. I think it will be cool to go to school together again. Strange but cool.

 

So my estimated move in date is March 28th. I"M SO STOKED OMGGGG! And my mom decided instead of making me buy my bedroom set, she'd use some of the movey from selling her house to buy it for me! So we're going furniture shopping soon. It's weird how when hings seemed impossible, they suddenly fit into place.

My sister is planning on moving back home this summer, so I'm also excited about that. She can come see my sweet pad and stay with me and such!

I go in tomorrow to sign papers for my apartment and pay my deposit and it will be officially Kelsey's, Ariel's, and mine!  I can NOT wait to pay almost nothing for gas and live in TOWN. I will have so many possibilities open up to me!

 So I'm too tired to go to my first two classes. I know that's bad, but I'm SORRY okay!?

Well I still don't know what to get chris for valentine's day..
ZTA is stressing me out so much. I'm holding down three positions and balancing school and work.
i'm really ready for things to slow down 

So I'm moving out in April and my mom (being a huge bitch like usual) told be that I can't take any furniture from my room. Even the stuff i got for christmas. So I now not only have to pay for my rent before i move,but i also have to by a bed,dresser,and nightstand. My grandfather has my old dresser so Im sure I can get that. This is just so like her. Why would I actually think she'd help and support me..
So what do I want for v-day? A bed would be nice...

So for one of Chris's vday gifts I'm making him a shirt.. but i can't decide on what it should say..

1) I'm with the ZETA (with an arrow between i'm with and the zeta)
2) My girlfriend's a zeta.
3)I love my zeta

the funny thing is he says he'd be cool with wearing it because he supports me. WOO!

I'm so excited! Kelsey and I are moving into Orlean's Square together in April. I've been looking for a roomate forever and Kelsey's contract is up next month, so it's perfect! Plus I practically live at her place already anyway; the only difference would be that I get my own room! I'm so excited!!!

chris broke up with me.

i'm so confused and numb. I'm dry from crying and he says it's not over? or something like in a week we may be together? i really don't know. i'm so hurt

I suppose I should officially state my New Year's resolutions. I have come up with several that I will try my hardest to execute and stick with.

1) to be better with money and put more into savings
2) to move out of this house and into an apartment of my own.
3) to not be bitter towards those who have wronged me and not hold grudges
4) to be patient and understanding
5) to be happy

So i haven't posted on here in like forever..

but i've been working so much during Christmas and this weekend was awesome because I got to chill for once..I started writing a book-i know that seems stupid. I'm really not sure what will happen or the characters..I just started writing and it's really fun.

Saturday was my birthday and I had a lot of fun. I hung out with Chris, Clare and Kelsey. It was just a fun time for all; nothing big. Just like I like it.

My sister left  today. She flies out of Austin in two days. I'm glad I finally got to see her and now I'm sad she's leaving. But I think spring break we're going to see her in Cali and Chris is gonna come with us. So I'm looking forward to it.

I'm also re-reading harry potter. So i'm a pretty busy gal.

A couple of weeks ago, Chris and I were having it rough. But it's like something snapped out of nowhere. I'm so happy and I count the minutes until I see him.  We laugh and do cute couple stuff again.  I guesswhen it all boiled down to who I could see myself with, there was no question and that's all I needed.

I've officially taken over the duties of historian and alumn/collegiate relations and I must say,  I have never sent so many emails in my life. But communicating so much with the alumnae has made me realize what zeta will on day be to me. I'm so excited to plan the events we share with the alumnae. I'm going to kick this positions ass. bottom line.

i'm getting excited about possibly going to virginia with a friend for spring break and then going to NYC for two days and DC for one. Problem is money. I can get what I need to survive up there and buy my broadway ticket. Plane ticket will be a bitch though.  For Christmas and my birthday I'm just asking for money so I can go. I want this so bad!!! AKHDKDSFH

I got initiated into ZTA today. It was so awesome. I was scared while I was waiting to go in but the old members were so proud and excited for us, that I felt better instantly.  I was worried I would still be a new member; but as soon as initiation was over, the change was instant. We were one of them.

I felt so bad because Mrs. Jen was going to surprise me by coming to my initiaiton but she thought it was at 7pm not am so she didn't leave in time. I thought that her even considering it was SO touching.  I felt so special and almost cried because of how she wanted to be there for me.

The break is over.

i missed him too much and i'm no sadist so why suffer when I KNOW what I want now..

yay!

chris and i are on a break.
we will talk and see each other on next thursday.

I miss him already.

i keep telling myself we need this...

we'll see

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD>

one of the most beautiful moments of my life has just occured!

there is so much hope now!! I am SO excited..i can't even type.

at the party, i hugged so many peope that i don't know and cried with them and cheered. it's amazing seeing the hope.

I've been so busy lately. BUT I JUST VOTED!! I feel so important and tonight I'm going to the Clarion tonight for the Obama party until 2 AM. This weekend should be nice I'll get an unusual amount of time with my beau (which is getting ridiculous that it's unusual) and then next weekend I'll get close to NO time because It's initiation weekend and I'l have like zero contact with anyone...but after initiation, I'm ALL his again.

GO OBAMA!

gaahhh i'm SO nervous!!!

so tomorrow i have two tests for which I SHOULD be studying. But tomorrow night, I'm having a GIRLS NIGHT!! Do you know how long its been since i've spent the night with girls?! like 2 years! One of my sisters, Kelsey, and i have gotten extremely close so tomorrow we are inviting so other new girls to her apartment for margaritas!! And then I'm staying the night with her and carving a pumpkin!! We are also staying up all night for chick flicks and vamp movies. Then Thursday we are cooking lunch for the other new sisters and making ZTA shirts.

I get to be a girl!! Woooo!

The bottom is falling out when it  comes to my stepfather and I. I need to get out of this house. It's unhealthy on so many levels. I have no where to go though. I mean I know Chris's parents will let me live with them. But that would be weird with Chris not being there.

My stepdad actually threatened me today. I was scared and still am shaking.  I can't do this anymore.  I'm so past done with him.